Have This Same Attitude

I’d love to say that I am taking this whole thing with an attitude of praise and complete, peaceful, confident trust in God.  But my wife would be the first to tell you that it is not so.  I want it to be so.  I want people to marvel in how well I am doing through all of this – not so much for my sake but to glorify God.  I want people to believe that God is doing a great work and that I am fully on board.  But that is not always the case. 

Case in point.  As many of you know I currently have to be fed through a nose tube – 6 boxes of Jevity 1.5 a day. 

I won’t complain about the taste because the feeding process bypasses my taste buds (thankfully).  But the feeding process is not fun.  I push about 550 ml of Jevity/water through a tiny tube 5 times a day. 

If all goes well this process takes about 15 minutes each time.  Occasionally the tube backs up and Jevity goes everywhere.  Then I get frustrated, smell the bacon that one of my kids just cooked or some other heavenly food scent coming from the kitchen and begin to wonder “why me?” or “when will I get to eat normal again?. I haven't had a real meal in 2 months.”  Or I’ll get into what seems like a never-ending coughing fit that disrupts whatever I was doing at the time.  

Do all things without grumbling or disputing, 

 - Phl 2:14

Ouch.  Let’s back up a bit:

Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be galrasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.  And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. 

 - Phl 2:5-8

 

Key words – mind (or attitude), emptied, humbled, obedient. 

Jesus, God Himself, demonstrated the attitude I should have.  One that resulted in complete obedience to God by humbling himself.  He emptied Himself.  Of what?  I expect it was of everything that His position as the Son of God entailed.

for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.

 - Phl 2:13

Because God has purpose in accomplishing something that will bring Him glory and advance His kingdom.  His purpose may not be clear to me at this time – but I have to trust that an all knowing all-wise God knows what He is doing.  I also don’t want to go through all this for no good reason.

holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain. 

Phl 2:16

So I’ll do my best to keep a positive God-centered attitude as I go though this. Your encouragement and prayers as always are appreciated. I will probably struggle – the meat loaf and potatoes smelled awfully good …

and I don’t know why I can’t just have that piece of apple pie. 

For God’s glory.