O no - I don't need this now!

I’ve always wanted to post something ambiguous like “O no – I don’t need this now!” on Facebook and see the responses – “How should we pray”, Do you need help” Should I bake cookies?”  (Yes, please do – chocolate chip!).  But I’m an introvert so I tend to be somewhat reserved when sharing things.

Now before I go further, I have a confession to make – I like to listen to Yanni when I run – and when I’m on the treadmill sometimes at loud volume.  I dunno, I enjoy the upbeat instrumentals that seems to be in sync with my running rhythm and allows my mind to relax and think. So why do I share that (remember, I’m a introvert)?  This blog has a running theme so I had to get running in it – but also, Yanni, on one of his concert CDs said that he doesn't write songs in the middle of a problem.  He waits till afterwards to write about the learning that took place (OK, most of his stuff is instrumental so I’m not sure how that works, but…).  When I’m in the midst of a problem, I’m not me (like being hungry on a Snicker’s commercial).  I can be frustrated, angry, self-centered.  I don’t have the proper perspective.  If I write something, I’ll probably regret it.  But afterwards, if I allow, I begin to see God in all of it.  Maybe not fully, but enough to know He is still in control.

To say that last month didn’t go as expected is a huge understatement.  Karyn and I had looked forward to a few days by ourselves at Disneyworld.  Yes, Disneyworld without the kids.  The occasion, our 30^th wedding anniversary.  It’s been a long time, five years in fact, since we’ve been able to get away together for a few days.  Plus the thought of leaving frigid Ohio for 80 degrees and sunshine … we were ready for some warmth!.  First part of the plan was in place – flew my sister-in-law in from Vermont to watch the kids.  But then … I got sick.

The day before we were to leave I couldn’t get myself out of bed.  My fever reached 102.  I couldn’t stop coughing.  I was out.  All week long I felt something coming, I hoped it would go away in time, I PRAYED it would go away in time.  It didn’t.  Florida trip – gone.  Lots of non-refundables – gone.  Why?  To say we were disappointed, well I already used the word understatement.

Not much later, I swallowed a gold crown – yes – swallowed.  Swallowing it was bad enough, paying to replace it was even worse.  That followed by a flat tire – and more recently discovering that our pool liner didn't fare the winter well and may need replaced.

So why did all this happen?  Where is God in all this – I mean why wouldn't He want me and Karyn to get away to spend time together?  Why all the unexpected expenses?  Here’s some thoughts, maybe you’ve heard them before. 

1.     God’s ways our higher than our ways.  You've heard this before.  God must have a good reason that we don’t see yet (but we will when we get to heaven, right?). 

2.   We didn’t seek God properly in planning the trip.  Maybe it wasn't His will for us to go.  We should have spent more time in prayer.  Did we really have a peace about it?  But then, how many people plan things all the time apart from God and succeed?

3.   We live in a fallen world, things just happen. This is all a result of Adam and Eve’s sin.  Well bad things really aren't a respecter of persons.  Stuff happens – and not always at the opportune time.  No matter how hard we plan, people are going to get sick, weather is going to turn bad and other bad things are going to happen.

And that may just be the reason.  We are cautioned in the Bible about not putting too much faith in our plans.  We don’t know what tomorrow may hold.  And we need to move on.  Our disappointments were big – but doesn’t compare to a lot of other disappointments.  A true disappointment is a life apart from a relationship with Christ. 

As I've run many races I've realized that some days you may feel like you’re flying on air and other days you feel like you should have stayed home.  And most of the time you don’t realize which feeling you’ll get until after you have started.  I've learned to enjoy the good runs and not give up because of a bad run.  Yes, there is disappointment – but that is never a reason to quit.  Greater joys and yes, disappointments, are still to follow.

What about the missionaries who spend years overseas, at the cost of their health and maybe the lives of family members, only to see very little success?  Did they plan wrong, did they not fully understand God’s will? Or possibly, they are smack dab in the center of it, growing in their relationship with Christ, with their eyes on the prize, and a reward of “Well done good and faithful servant!” 

So we may never know the reason why our anniversary plans fell apart, or why all the other stuff happened.  We will get over the disappointment.  We are still married (30 + years!) and our relationship with each other and with Christ is strong! And we will still race toward the prize!

Run on!

I lift my eye to the hills.  From where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.

Psalm 121:1-2